Friends @ soapcentral.com

In light of recent events concerning screen-capping and scandalous behavior on the part of some SOC members, I have no choice but to make my SOC blog friends only. This disappoints me due to the fact that I had thought that I had found a place where I could divulge information and feel secure, but instead I have found that people are just as nasty and trifling on SOC as they are on LiveJournal. This isn't my first go around in making an entire blog Friends Only, but except this time I didn't write as many entries where the process of editing every entry was grueling.

If anyone wants to see my blogs and I think I can trust you, I will have no problem adding you on if I haven't already. Just post a reply onto my Visitor Page on my Wikipage and eventually I will look into it.

This has been on my mind for a while so I thought I would write about it and see if anyone has any comments.  Perhaps I was too harsh with my friend, but I think you reach a point in some relationships where you just have to admit defeat.

I have a co-worker who is in her mid-30's... I'm in my late 40's so we are not the same generation, really.  But we became good friends anyway.  Vicky is tender-hearted and funny and has a lot of good qualities.  She does annoy people, though, because she is very needy.  Except she really isn't.  What I mean is, she constantly seeks reassurance that she is doing things correctly when she already knows that she is.  And even when she's doing something new, her judgment is very sound and she has a lot of common sense and attention to detail, so she's almost always doing things right.  Or if she isn't, when she explains why she did what she did, it makes perfect sense. based on what she knew at the time.  So she is not REALLY needy, but she likes to have the validation anyway.

I like Vicky a lot, and I don't even mind the neediness (although I do tend to speak sharply to her and I don't like myself like that, but eventually you just need to say "Oh, for crying out loud!" or you'll go nuts with all her questions.)  But there's always been one very large stumbling block in our relationship and that is her complete inability to keep a date.  Vicky's idea of being somewhere on time is to call you five minutes before she's supposed to meet you to tell you why she's running two hours behind.  I told her flat out before that I feel this constant lateness is a bid for attention.  "If you're never where you're supposed to be when you're supposed to be there, then you are always the center of attention," I told her once.  Her solution was that we stop trying to do fun things together.  Sad solution, but there it was.

So for a long time, we just didn't go places together.  But then there a couple of events that we both would enjoy came along and so we tried getting together to go to them and it went pretty well.   I had some hopes that she was maturing.  Also, her supervisor got more strict about her overtime and so she stopped working so many hours, which helped some because she was getting more rest.  Because Vicky's big thing is not being able to get up on time.  And by on time, I don't mean 6:30 am or something.  She works the night shift, like me, and though she is married, she has no kids so she can pretty much get up when she pleases most days.  Even so, getting up is a HUGE obstacle for her.

Back in September, one of my friends that had gone with me on the Isle Royale work trip sent a little homemade video of the trip to me on DVD.  I didn't want to bore that many people with it, but I thought maybe I could get Vicky to watch it with me, so I went to invite her to come to my cubicle on her lunch hour.  "Bring your supper to my desk and we'll watch this video," I told her.

Well, immediately she started whining.  She didn't feel well.  Her boss gave her too much work (although she is always crying for more overtime.)  The test she did last night failed.  She had to go to sample storage.  Etc, etc.  "It sounds like you need to take a rest at lunch," I said lightly.  "Come over anyway."  She said okay.  But of course, she didn't come. 

Weeks went by and she never came over to say "sorry I couldn't make it, can we do it another time."  I could have gone to her lab but I was sulking.  She didn't seem to notice.  Once we bumped into each other while working and she started in telling me all her family's issues without giving me a chance to get a word in edgewise, so I didn't bother.  I just nodded and went on with my work.  My birthday came and went without a card or anything from her, so I followed her cue and ignored hers as well. 

Then suddenly, out of the blue, she came and found me one night at work.  "I want to go out for a Christmas lunch with you," she said. 

I was so HAPPY.  For once, I didn't have to issue the invitation!  For once, she was taking the initiative and promising to meet me somewhere for something fun.  (Because whenever we did anything, it always had to be me driving it. She would never take the responsibility.)  "That would be great!" I said.  "I'd love that!"  So we made a date for 11:30 am the following Wednesday.

Wednesday morning came.  I got up early.  I got ready.  I rearranged my day to free the time we had set up for lunch even though I had lots of things to do to get ready for the kittens.  At 10:30 the phone rang and I didn't even have to pick it up but I did anyway.  There was Vicky in her whiny little girl voice.  "I had to work SO LATE last night," she whined.  "I just CAN'T get up.  Can we go next week instead?"

I said yes and hung up.  But all day I was in a bad mood.  And I was still in a bad mood that night at work.  And I thought, this has gone on long enough.  So I called her into my lab where we couldn't be overheard and I told her that I was done.  Just done.  "You have jerked me around for the last time," I told her.

She looked at me blankly, like she had no clue.  "How did I jerk you around," she said.  I just looked at her.  Duh.  Then she added,  "I didn't mean to."  And in her mind, that solved everything.

But not to me.  "Vicky, do you ever stop to think how other people feel when you constantly break your promises?  It says to the other person, 'I don't value you.'  Do you not get that?"

More blank looks.

I sighed.  "We're just done here.  It's not worth being jerked around like this."  Then I went on about my business and left her standing there with her mouth open.

It makes me sad, but sometimes you just have to admit defeat and give up.  Vicky isn't going to change, and I don't have time to keep following this trail of broken promises anymore.  Sometimes you just have to admit that the friendship is toxic and cut your losses.

Okay, I feel the need to chatter about something other than which soap character deserves to have his or her eyes scratched out (usually the general consensus is that it's actually the writers anyway).  So here's a topic:  amusing telephone adventures.  I share mine and you tell yours.

Wrong numbers

My favorite:  Over a period of about 6 weeks, I kept being awakened by someone between 2 and 4 am by a woman who would speak urgently to me in a language that I didn't recognize but thought sounded vaguely French.  This happened three or four times before the caller finally had a man who spoke English dial for her. Together, he and I discovered that she had been trying to call somewhere where (1) it was not 3 am and (2) it was not the United States.  The caller had been using the wrong country code to dial an international call.  The callers were mortified.  I was just relieved to know that the mystery had been solved and that the woman wasn't a CIA operative who was trying to pass secrets to me.

My second favorite:  My first phone number was one digit off from the power company's.  Occasionally something would go wrong with the trunk line (that's what the phone company said) and calls that were correctly dialed for the power company would end up ringing at my house.  Usually this happened when there was a storm and people wanted to report their power was out.  After a particularly bad storm, I was fielding calls right and left from people sitting in dark houses.  I kept telling people "I'm not the power company."  One caller told me, "The phone company said they know about the wrong number, but they said we could tell you and that the power company will call you later to get the locations that need help."  (They did not call and ask, but I guess the scheme could have worked.)

Phone Company Screw-Ups:

My favorite:  I had moved to a new town.  The phone company gave me a number, and I gave it to my family and a few friends, but I didn't hear from anyone.  One day I called my dad and he mentioned that he had tried to call me two or three times one afternoon but kept getting someone else.  The woman was not happy about it (her number was supposedly unlisted) and she got very mean with my dad so finally he gave up.  After living where I was used to getting the power company's calls, I didn't think much of it.  But then one day my friend had come to visit me and while I was at work she reported that she had gotten a strange call.  "It was a solicitor," she said, "And they asked me if this was 555-1212,  And I said no, it was 555-1213 and hung up."  Ding, ding, ding!  You guessed it.  The number that the phone company had told me was mine belonged to the bewildered lady who had accused my poor dad of stalking her.  Which just goes to show you need to call yourself and make sure you know who you are whenever you get a new number.

Champion Talker

I always said my friend Deb could "talk the ears off a stalk of corn."  It's part of the reason that I've only called her twice in the last fifteen years.  Once I called her around 8 pm in the evening.  I kid you not, by the time I managed to pry her off the phone, it was 2 am.  Six hours!  SIX HOURS!  I could have just hung up on her, I guess, but the thing about Deb is that I wasn't ever bored during those six hours... it's just that it was SIX.  HOURS.  And my dime, of course, since I called her.  Yikes.  The thing I remember most was how very badly I needed to go to the bathroom by the time I finally escaped!

Okay, that's enough to prime the pump.  I know everyone but me has a cell phone, but I'll close with this joke anyway.  Maybe it's an old one, but I only just heard it and I think it's pretty funny.

In driver's ed, what do they teach you is the first thing you should do with your cell phone right after you have a wreck????

PICK IT UP AND SAY "I'LL CALL YOU BACK."

Friday, July 6, 2007

 

During my last move, I found my old yearbook. Looking through all the lost friends and promises of "we'll keep in touch," I got really upset. I realized that my graduation ceremony was the last time I heard from a lot of those friends that promised to always keep in touch. I was just as guilty. Letting life take me away from all the high school routine.Well, I got on the computer and came across a program that allows you to find anyone, anywhere, statewide. I tried it and it worked. So, I just want to share it with all of you. I was wondering if we could look up our favorite soap stars or actors. Just click here to view the site.

 

 

 

I took almost 200 hundred pictures but here is just a taste of my vacation

 

Pic 1: This picture was taken the formal night on the the cruise that I just went on.  I am in the middle, my best friend Anna in on the left and her sister, my other best friend, Margaret is on the right.

 

Pic 2: My best friends and me again.  I look like crap so I don't know I put this up really, lol!

 

Pic 3: My group had three tables and this was mine.  Starting from the left are my friends Alex, Anna, Brett, Margaret, and Nate. 

 

Pic 4: This is a picture of some of the Mayan ruins we saw in Mexico.

 

Pic 5:  This is a picture of my best firneds again and their two sisters who both happen to also be great friends of mine too naturally. Starting from the left Anna, Marie, Margaret, and Josette.  They also have two brothers Alex and Vince. 

 

Pic 6:  The view from the cliff of the Mayan ruins looking out onto the ocean.  Isn't it beautiful?

 

Pic 7:  It is me waiting to be called back for my free facial I won in a raffle on the cruise.

 

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