General Hospital @ soapcentral.com

                   I've been watching General Hospital for well over 30 years now and I've seen it go through a lot of changes. Some have been good while others have left me gritting my teeth and hoping for a change in writing & executive producers. Most of the time my prayers for better leadership at the show have been answered.....such as when Luke and Laura returned back in 1993. I along with every other Luke/Laura fan was doing cartwheels when the news came out they were coming back to the show [even though Anthony Geary had been back for a number of years as Bill Eckert]. The only thing that could have made my world even brighter would have been the return of Lesley Webber [Denise Alexander].....so you can imagine my surprise when Lesley DID come back in 1996!!! Granted, the storyline that brought her back was a bit along the lines of "you've got to be kidding me", but I didn't care. My two favorite characters AND actresses were back where they belong!!

                     During the years of 1993-2002 I found myself not being too crazy about some of the Luke/Laura storylines [and I was REALLY disappointed that Lesley was only around sporadically at best], but I was really out of sorts when they divorced! That's when the thought of "oh God, is Genie going to quit again?" started creeping back into my head. My worst fears were confirmed when Laura started going off the deep end and it was announced that Genie Francis was once again leaving the show. I was crushed. Again. I was also a bit miffed because Genie Francis seems to have had an irritating habit of quitting the show.....of course this was before she went public about her drug abuse that had lead to her departure in 1982....AND before the revelation that she'd only left the show [in 2002] because the producers wouldn't give her the summer off to take a trip to Europe with her husband and children!! My 'miffedness' shifted from Genie Francis to the boneheads at GH that let Genie Francis leave rather than give her some WELL DESERVED time off!! What was the harm in giving her the time off?? It's not like Anthony Geary doesn't take a few months every year!!

                        So for the next four years, I found myself once again hoping beyong hope that Laura would return. That hoping grew more intense by the day as the focus of GH shifted almost entirely to the whole mob storyline. For a while there I was actually expecting the name of the show to change from "General Hospital" to "The Sonny Corinthos Show"!! So then in mid 2006 the news of Laura's return was released....she was coming back, but only for a limited run. Hey, I'll take it. I figured that the response to Genie Francis would be so great that the producers would be persuaded to ask her back full time. No such luck. Poor Laura went right back into catatonia after having participated in one of the most idiotic storylines that I'd seen on GH in quite a few years. Each episode that Genie Francis was in was very clearly 'rushed' and it was apparent that she'd only been brought back for November sweeps.

                          As disappointed as I was that neither Laura or Genie were sticking around very long I figured that it was Genie's decision and went on about my business. And then I read that Genie actually DID want to come back, AND had made it known to GH that she wanted to come back....but they said "no thank you........."                                             

  HUH?? WHA??? I had to read the article TWICE to make sure I hadn't MIS-read it!! Nope. I'd read it correctly. So I gave the GH brass the benefit of the doubt by dismissing the article as just heresay, but then I saw Genie Francis on "The View".....and then I got the info straight from the legend's mouth. She WANTS to come back!! And those buffoons at GH are STILL saying, "no thanks"!!!! Are you kidding me??!!! HOW can a producer say NO to one of the most legendary actresses to grace the soap opera world??! Dude...this is GENIE freakin FRANCIS!!! These folks at GH and ABC should be on their hands and knees BEGGING her to come back! They should give her ANYTHING she wants in her contract just to get her back on that show......but instead we viewers are still inundated with a cheap rip off of The Godfather.

                          Perhaps the brass & writers at GH won't bring Laura back because they can't figure out how to work her into the show? If that's the case, then I've got a suggestion for the storyline that would bring our beloved Laura back:

• Jason suddenly remembers his former life and is infuriated that Sonny had taken advantage of his brain injury all these years. He lures Sonny into a warehouse, along with every other mobster on the show. Jason then blows the warehouse up, sending little bits and pieces of mobsters all over Port Charles. The force of the explosion is so loud that Laura is jolted out of her catatonic state and returns home to her family.
  

                           Now see how easy that was??!!

Forget Pavlov’s dog… it’s his fans I’m worried about. Say it with me slowly, one Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi… that is the precise length of time Maxie Jones and the new doctor, Matt Hunter, shared the General Hospital screen on Thursday (June 26).

 

Yes, those three long-awaited, over-hyped seconds on GH marked the re-teaming of former Days of Our Lives (DOOL) young lovers Shawn and Belle, Jason Cook (Matt Hunter, GH; ex-Shawn, DOOL) and Kirsten Storms (Maxie Jones, GH; Belle, DOOL).

 

The only problem? General Hospital has neither a Shawn nor a Belle character. Who cares about a minor detail like that when there is spontaneously combustible sexual chemistry exploding on our screens? But, alas, for three glorious seconds these two characters bumped into each other. There, I said it. Matt and Maxie (not Shawn and Belle) bumped into each other on General Hospital, not Days of Our Lives. Neither paying attention, they turned around quickly and accidentally bumped into each other in front of GH’s famous nurses’ station.

 

Be advised, Spin’s Vixenella can “squeeeeeeee” and “eeeeeeeeeee” and “OMG” with the best fan girls on the biggest Internet soap message boards, but yesterday’s response to those three seconds of shared screen time was simply astonishing on so many levels. In an attempt to counterbalance her inner fan girl and bring into sharp focus the three seconds, The Vixenella will spew forth some Latin: res ipsa loquitur. Yes, res ipsa loquitur, a legal term which means “the thing speaks for itself”. No further details or evidence are necessary; the response tells the whole story. So without further adieu, and with no identifying information revealed, Spin’s Vixenella gives you res ipsa loquitur, verbatim actual message board responses to three seconds of General Hospital.

 

“That song by Savage Garden “I Knew I Loved You Before I Met You” instantly played in my mind”

 

“I don't care if it was forced I just love looking at him and seeing him again its been so long since I saw him on DOOL”

 

“Reunited and it feeeels so gooooood! Woooohooo!”

 

 “I didn't think that the scene looked forced at all, I LOVED it! The scene lived up to my expectations and then some, I have been waiting so long for this! I hope that the continuation of the scene will happen tomorrow.”

 

“Forced or Not, i friggin Loved it! My Heart Bursts with Joy! I can Bearly Breathe! Jason and Kirsten Together again EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE”

 

“I'm so excited! I have been squeeling since I saw the scene of Maxie and Matt running into each other. Gave me a warm feeling and a nice flashback.”

 

 “I watched today's scene 3 times already!”

 

“I think I've watched about a hundred times already.”

 

 “Sparks! I saw definite sparks of chemistry! And that look... oh boy, they've definitely got me hooked!”

 

“God, those were the best and most interesting 3 seconds of GH in a loooong time!”

 

“I loved M&M's interaction. The chemistry is there (yes, based on that clip alone, I judge them to be awesomely perfect for each other).”

 

In fairness, there was a lone voice of reason in the message board thread who commented, “I can't really say how I feel about the two yet, because well it was a very short scene, he didn't really say anything to her.” Do the rest of these GH fans fall in love while stopped at traffic lights or in grocery store check-out queues? They must be the speediest of speed daters. Res ipsa loquitur, fellow soap fans. Can we expect intelligent, long-term storytelling and insightful character development when three seconds of stunt casting a “hot” soap hunk from a rival network sends us into paroxysms of joy? When the soap genre is extinct, we will have only ourselves to blame for not demanding more when we had the chance.

 

Lessons Learned: To minimize the risk of bumping into someone and having them spontaneously combust with sexual chemistry on me, The Vixenella vows to be more careful and less absent-minded in public places.

 

VIXENELLA'S VIDEO OF THE DAY: Enjoy Bonnie Rait's Something to Talk Aboutcompiled by Ashley from the Opposite Attraction Fan Site. Spinelli & Maxie...SPIXIE IS SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT...the new guy...meh!

So on today's GH we found out, after all that rigamarole, that Carly is not pregnant. Which, um, is good news, I guess, because that means that a) there's no chance it could be Sonny's, and b) we won't have to sit through Carlybabes pawning off another baby as Jason's, since it turned out so well the first time. This ending, however, left me with a severe feeling of WTF. Why would Guza and his minions put us through all that torture only for her to end up without a bun in the oven?

 

I had a strong feeling of WTF to begin with, when I first read about this new and original *insert eyeroll* storyline in Soap Opera Digest. I was beyond pissed off that they were going to copy the 1998 story. IMO, it totally erases any emotional growth Carly might have had after Michael's shooting, even more than the disastrous limo sex. Laura Wright is easily one of the best actresses in daytime, and I feel like every time they give her this same old crap, they're severely underusing her and limiting the potential she has to make Carly more than just a slutty, annoying, dumb bimbo. (And I don't say those negative words lightly, cuz I love me some Carly.)

 

I think one of the biggest things that pissed me off were the quotes from Bob Guza in SOD.

 

"A flummoxed Carly spontaneously spins the lie that she is pregnant, it's Jason who is the father. 'This is where it gets a little comedic,' grins Guza."

 

Comedic? After the gruesome deaths of Georgie and Emily, Michael's coma, and the loss of poor little baby Carjax, I always suspected that Guza found GH viewers' suffering comedic. How is this man still head writer? Grrrr.

 

Also?

 

"'This was not a coincidence,' explains Guza regarding this particular plot point. 'This was deliberate. It was an interesting excercise to see how the character has changed since then...'"

 

The hell? One, it's not interesting. And two, she hasn't changed at all since then, apparently, SINCE YOU ARE WRITING THE SAME FRICKING THING. *steam coming out of ears*

 

And now thanks to Sonny's big mouth Jax is suspicious that Carly slept with Sonny. If I were writing General Hospital, I would use this as an opportunity for Carly to tell Jax that she did, indeed, have dirty nasty unprotected limo sex with Sonny. I'm sure Jax would be pissed, and probably want to leave, but then they could talk it out (Couples therapy? Too bad Lainey's been taken off contract...) and eventually make the decision to stay together. I believe that they truly love each other, and while Carly's certainly flawed, Jax is no saint either. But of course I am not writing GH and I foresee Carly lying to him some more, followed by Carly and Jax breaking up and Carly and Sonny getting back together for the umpteenth time. Sickening.

 

As for the rest of today's episode... Jerry took my beautiful Johnny hostage, and when Johnny turned the tables and attacked that sick fuck I was really hoping that would be the end of Mr. Craig but, alas, no such luck. There was like thirty seconds of adorable Lucky & Sam interaction, and maybe, maybe, just possibly Robin might be going to come around to letting Patrick near her precious child, which is good, because she's been driving me crazy lately with the hypocrisy.

 

We had more of that obnoxious Dr. Matt Hunter, and so far I don't see what the big deal is. I know the actor was supposed to be part of some fabulous supercouple with Kirsten Storms on Days of Our Lives, but I just don't see the chemistry yet. He's just a boring Dr. Patrick Drake 2.0. Give me Spixie any day. I'm serious. Please, please give me Spixie. (Damn you, Guza, damn you.)

 

P.S.- Loved Jason today, and his "Next time leave me out of the tangled web that you weave, Carly." So true. Brought back some memories, though, as my dad used the tangled web quote a lot on me when I was in high school...

Thanks to my Spixie friend Heather aka Movie Surfer at Live Journal for this beautiful banner.

My Shocking Exposé of Bias in Soap Media Polling: Part One
Soap opera press -- journalism or propaganda pimping machine? The Vixenella gives her spin in a two-part expose published first by Blog Critics online magazine.

I am no Woodward and Bernstein. Heck, I am not even Geraldo Rivera’s belly lint, but Spin’s Vixenella knows agenda-driven media bias when it splatters in her face. What is Spin’s Vixenella ranting about now? The soap industry “press,” a multi-billion dollar a year business with numerous publications dedicated to covering all things soap opera. Are any of them more than a propaganda arm for the networks? Today, Spin’s Vixenella is not so sure, and she wants some answers.
(For the full article, first published by Blog Critics online magazine, click on The Vixenella's Spin icon below.)

VIXENELLA'S VIDEO OF THE DAY: Enjoy a new Spixie mvid from one of The Vixenella's favorite Spixie fans, NewEnglander, an uber talented Spixie mvidder. NewEnglander never fails to capture the mood and essence that is Spixie. Spixie is a classic love story with a spicy twist. With Burning Love, NewEnglander uses the spicy Wyonna re-make of this timeless classic Elvis tune. How wonderful!

General Hospital: Believing Better Be Receiving

The snarky Spin's Vixenella takes on General Hospital Emmy action and the new SoapNet "Believe It Can Happen" Spixie promo.

 

Follow along as the correspondence war between Spin's Vixenella and General Hospital head writer Bob Guza continues to rage. Could there be a thaw in their relationship? Will there be "Peace in Our Time?" Click the link below for the next installment in Spin's Vixenella's "Letters to Bob" series, published first at Blog Critics Online magazine.
 

 

VIXENELLA'S VIDEOS OF THE DAY:

Spixie & The Interloper Present Emmy

SOAPNet's new promo Believe In Your Heart, Believe It Can Happen Spixie with 2 other couples from OLTL thrown in for good measure