Humor @ soapcentral.com

Watching GH today, and I'm actually blogging as I go! Finally! I miss doing this, after taking it easy during the holidays and all.

First of all, LOL @ Tony Geary. He is just so funny, so great. The trial scene is just hilarious. Ahh, some humor! GH is never totally without humor, but I had missed the straight-out parody scenes like this. Spinelli is always kind of funny, but his humor is er . . . wearing thin? Even to a geek like me. Yeah. Yesterday, talking to Max, it just . .. I was like "SHUT UP!" And I love him, Bradford Anderson is terrific and cute, but he needs a real storyline already. Also, lighten up on the geek-speak. Gimmicks only run so far. Look at how Johnny has bloomed after waving his gun around the first few weeks. Take it down a notch, GH, please! Don't let such an amazing actor be wasted on overused jokes! Just my two cents on that. And more parodies, please! I want a Max and Diane continuation, and where is Alice these days???

Commercial break #1 is over. Be back. Darn, I was just going to read a few lines from my comic, too. Multitasking uselessly. Ahh, now that's the life :p

Sidenote: Yes, I read comic books. I'm currently into DC's "Countdown", "Batman", and "The Flash". Got some new TPBs today, too, including one on Impulse's early days. Sad, in retrospect, but funny and charming.

Kate is so funny playing her NY city high society charm card on those hapless cops! Megan Ward is fabulous. She swings through such a varied array of personalities and dimensions with no obvious effort at all; it's just seamless with her, and always witty. This is my favorite pairing for Sonny. Yep, beats Sonny/Carly for me. Wow!

OMG! Luke in drag! LOL LMAO LOL!

Interesting look at his character, too. I had forgotten about Luke breaking up Mack and Felicia! Whew, he's done a lot of wrong! But he's entertained us every step of the way, right? So . . .

Aww, some lunch is done. Got to cut this short! And I have reading to do! Impulse's story is very interesting. Be back later, or tomorrow!

I'm back with a mouth full of food and a few minutes later lol But I had to say! Oh! Poor Epiphany! That was heart-breaking. And Jerry is showing his true colors, while Alexis is not actually smart enough to stay away from him (as people in the latest ABC Soaps In Depth wanted her to be). Scary! Too bad, he's hot. Alexis should get in a wild night with him before he's killed by Sonny or whomever. Only half-kidding there :p

For those who love the philosophy of ambiguity...

 

1. Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things.

 

2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.....

 

3. Atheist is a non-prophet organization.

 

4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

 

5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

 

6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?"  She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

 

7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?

 

8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

 

9. If someone with multiple personalities threatened to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

 

10. Is there another word for synonym?

 

11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

 

12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

 

13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

 

14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

 

15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms?  Are they afraid someone will clean them?

 

16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

 

17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

 

18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

 

19. Why do they put braille on the drive-through bank machines?

 

20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?

 

21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

 

22. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

 

23. Does the little mermaid wear an algae bra?

 

24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

 

25. How is it possible to have a civil war?

 

26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

 

27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

 

28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

 

29. Whose cruel idea was it to have the word "lisp" have an "s" in it?

 

30. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" and not "assteroids"?

 

31. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

 

32. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

 

33. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times, does he become disoriented?

 

34. Can an atheist get insurance against the acts of God?

This is why it helps to proofread before signing things into law! An article in today's Chicago Sun-Times reports:

Typo lets toddlers marry in Arkansas

August 18, 2007

LITTLE ROCK, Ark. -- A law passed this year allows Arkansans of any age -- even infants -- to marry if their parents agree, and the governor may have to call a special session to fix the mistake, lawmakers said Friday.

The legislation was intended to establish 18 as the minimum age to marry but also allow pregnant teenagers to marry with parental consent, bill sponsor Rep. Will Bond said. An extraneous ''not'' in the bill, however, allows anyone who is not pregnant to marry at any age if the parents allow it.

The bill reads: ''In order for a person who is younger than eighteen (18) years of age and who is not pregnant to obtain a marriage license, the person must provide the county clerk with evidence of parental consent to the marriage.''

AP


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Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

 

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

 

Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

 

Law of the Telephone: If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

 

Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

 

Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

 

Law of the Bath: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

 

Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you're with someone you don't want to be seen with.

 

Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

 

Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

 

Law of the Theatre: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

 

Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a hot cup of coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

 

Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

 

Law of Rugs and Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpeting.

 

Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

 

Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

 

Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

 

Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

 

Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Hi everyone, so I posted some pretty good blonde jokes a few days ago...another joke category that I love is Murphy's Law.  Sometimes, these things seem so true, don't they????

 

Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.

 

-the light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an incoming train.

-if you drop a round object under a car, it will always roll to the exact center.

-the other line always moves faster.

-the chances of a piece of bread falling butter-side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.

-never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.

-if you're feeling good, don't worry, you'll get over it.

-if you have that feeling where everything is going exactly as planned, something is obviously wrong with you.

-90% of everything is crap.

-anything good in life is either fattening, immoral, or unbelievably expensive.

-a shortcut is the longest distance between two points.

-someday, everything east of the San Andreas Fault will become ocean.

 

Hahaha, I love those!!!!  Of course, they're not true, but sometimes they seem true!