Spoilers @ soapcentral.com

• In less than 6 hours, we start a whole new week of General Hospital.  I have to say i havent seen most of last weeks episodes due to the lameness of the current storylines.  For example:  Lucky and Sam's Investigation and subsequent screen time with Jerry Jax... KeMo plays an excellent "bad girl" but havent we seen enough of that these past few years?  Also, although i must admit that i have enjoyed Johnny away from Lulu... that entire trial was a joke by the mere fact that Epiphany and Edward were placed on the jury and Scott was allowed to be special prosecuter for his own sons murder trial. 

 

• With all that being said, i might watch today for the simple fact that i have seen spoilers that allude to relationships between Ric Lansing and Claudia Zacchara as well as Nic Cassadine and Nadine Crowell.  With the lack of intellegent storyline (and couples that actually have a snowballs chance of surving) these two couples have warmed my GH loving heart during the cold winter nights that are LIASON & SKATE.  Both of which, if you have read my blog before would notice that i despise. 

 

• Unfortunatly with the increase of screen time of those couples, also brings to light the LIASON storylines.  Looks like i will be watching CLIC NIKADINE and MATT and MAXIE LUSAM scenes then FF through the rest.  Oh... what is the GH... i dont even recognize it anymore.

 

• Although i realize that the actors are not to blame for the current storylines, i do however have to name one who i was severly dissappointed in:  Steve Burton.  Whether,  he said it straight out or not, i fully believe that Steve went before TPTB and said "i want out of the Sam/Jason pairing... and i want to be with Elizabeth... do it whatever way you need to".  I realize that actors may not always enjoy their storylines, but it seems that they destroyed four major money making couples to create one couple that now they dont even know what to do with.  So one week they are sleeping together... the other Jason is saying that he cant take the risk.  All this just to appease Steve Burtons whims.  Breaking up couples, for example LnL2 and JaSam, in horrible and uncharacterstic ways was most certainly the responsibity of the writers and directors. And yes... i am biased... but i thousands of LNL2 and JaSam fan that share some of the same sentiments.  

 

• It is about 9:20 and time for me to return to my classes... where i can dream of the good ole days when 'General Hospital' was acting something i would look forward to.

-Jill

Hi guys, this week's review is gonna be on the short side 'cause I'm VERY busy this week and it's getting kinda late now.

 

Susan...funny stuff!  Mike's mother was a hoot!  I loved her "Cook in the kitchen, maid in the living room, and whore in the bedroom" line   I loved the scene in the restaurant...I was pretty upset with Mike, though.  Like I said on the boards, Mike is a total mama's boy and refuses to stand up for Susan.  And of course...welcome Baby Delfino!!!!!!

 

Kayla's antics continue.  I hated it when she drew that picture of Lynette and hugged her in front of the psychiatrist.  Manipulative bitch!  I LOVED that scene in the department store.  I totally wooted for Lynette when she slapped her!!!!  And now Kayla has her shrink convinced Lynette's abusive.  That's really nice   Kayla needs to go...I'm kinda hoping Tom ends up leaving the show as well.  He's been a total asshole these past couple seasons, and I'm sick of it.

 

Ohhh, shame on Edie!  What is she, the daughter of Satan???  Something is seriously wrong with this chick!  Who does she think she is, just going into Orson's apartment and reading notes he's taken???  And worst of all, blackmailing Bree to keep her big secret secret!  Well, I was very proud of Bree when she came clean to her friends about Benjamin being Danielle's baby.  She showed a lot of courage there.  And, of course, I LOVED all the housewives marching on down the street to confront Edie...and now Edie's gone away!

 

Ohhhh, sucks for Ellie!  Carlos and Gabrielle know her secret, and so do the polce, who are waiting to make a move.  Can't say I feel sorry for Ellie...she's really stupid getting into the drug world!  But Gabrielle is attached to her, so it'll be hard when the police come.

 

Well, the Katherine mystery is coming to a close.  Katherine better watch herself...she's definitely pushing Wayne's buttons!  Wayne seems pretty evil, don't you think???  I feel kinda sorry for him though...finding out Dylan isn't really his daughter.  But it looks like Dylan isn't Katherine's daughter either...Dylan's not even the same girl who lived on Wisteria Lane before!   Can't wait 'till next week when everything is revealed!

 

Spoilers...

 

Next week, "The Gun Song" (part 1), "Free" (part 2)...

 

In this two-hour season finale, Lee and Bob get married.  Bree and Katherine cater for the wedding.  During the wedding ceremony, there is a car accident nearby.

 

Susan and Mike name their baby Maynard, and Susan hates that name, so she goes to the hospital records department and with the help of a woman named Griselda, Susan changes the baby's name through deception.  She changes the name from Maynard to...Connor!

 

Wayne has a gun, and is holding Adam and Katherine hostage.

 

Edie will not be appearing next week, but when DH returns in the fall, she'll be back on Wisteria Lane, and she will have changed a lot since leaving.

 

After the 5 years pass, Carlos and Gabrielle are parents to twin girls.  Gabrielle is worried about the girls getting fat, and Carlos is still blind.  So it looks like his blindness is permanent after all

Last night was the first episode of May Sweeps.  Pretty good episode!  Mostly dramatic, but one funny s/l last night was Susan.  I thought she was sooo funny last night!  I just loved the scene when she first ran into Karl, the way she said "Hello Karl" with that disgust in her voice.  LOL!  And that other pregnant woman was eying her food Susan told her she wasn't sharing.  Funny stuff!  I've always loved Karl and Susan together.  Obviously, I don't want them together as a couple, but I do think they are hilarious together and they're so entertaining to watch!  Again, funny stuff with Susan last night.  She is so adorable!

 

Well, the Kayla vs. Lynette s/l has heated up.  Anyone else find Kayla really scary?  She is a scary, evil girl.  Not too surprising she was responsible for the fire.  I was not happy with Tom at all last night.  I mean, he was all for having the twins go to therapy, but not Kayla?  What the hell???  Kayla clearly is troubled and she's gone through a whole lot...therapy would be good for her!  And now she's blackmailing Lynette.  Total bitch!  Lynette has to do something...too bad she doesn't have Tom's support.  What really creeped me out about Kayla is her getting the boys to jump off the roof.  What the hell is wrong with this chick???  And then the totally evil, scary smirk on her face as Tom and Lynette were driving away to take Preston to the hospital.  Man, oh man!

 

I'm really loving this, how you say, love triangle between Orson, Bree, and Edie.  There Edie goes again, snacking on leftovers!  But I don't know if Orson should be considered a "leftover" yet.  He and Bree are freshly separated and Bree said to Katherine she probably is gonna take him back.  I feel so sorry for Bree...clearly she still loves Orson very much despite his dark past.  I've always thought Bree vs. Edie would be entertaining, and now it is happening!  I can't wait to see where this s/l will go.

 

Gabrielle's s/l last night was a nice balance between comedy and drama.  The first scene with Ellie was pretty funny.  Gabrielle rolling her eyes at Carlos, and Carlos was like, "What was THAT???"  That is sooo Gabrielle...doing these things in front of a blind man, LOL!  And Lee and Bob were finally back, after weeks of no appearances.

 

Lee: I played Tony in West Side Story.

Bob: He also made out with Officer Krupke in intermission.

 

Lee, Bob, and Gabrielle are all funny together!  I hope there will be more scenes with these three!  I loved Lee trying to "seduce" Ellie!  And then Ellie slapped and kicked him.  And then Gabrielle came out and to cover up the fact that this was planned, she kicked him too!  LOL!  But all the comedy went away when we saw the cocaine.  What is it with Wisteria Lane and drugs lately???

 

We didn't learn anything new about Katherine last night, really.  Though I enjoyed her intense reunion with Wayne.  They definitely had an extremely shaky past, and I can't wait to find out what exactly happened!  One more thing Katherine and Bree have in common...they both have guns!  That scene with Wayne and Katherine reminded me of the scene in season 1 with Felicia and Paul, when Felicia was confronting Paul for killing Mrs. Huber, and she had her hands on a knife the whole time.

 

Spoilers...

 

Next week, "Mother Said"...

 

Susan finally goes into labor!  Whether or not she actually gives birth in this episode, I don't know.

 

Everyone on Wisteria Lane stops talking to Edie because they think she slept with Orson.  Because of this, Edie moves away.  She won't be appearing in the season finale, but she will be back this fall.

 

Episode sixteen (season finale), "The Gun Song (part 1), Free (part 2)", May 18th...

 

Gabrielle and Ellie have a fight, and Carlos's dog Roxy is a part of that fight.  Carlos and Gabrielle find a lot of money.  5 years later, Carlos and Gabrielle are parents to twin girls!!!!!!  Gabrielle gets pregnant and when we first meet the twin girls they will be 4 years old.

 

At the end of the season finale, after 5 years pass, Susan is no longer married to Mike and is now married to Ken (played by Gale Harold).  She doesn't wanna send her 5-year-old son, Maynard, off to Kindergarten.  Rumor has it that the reason she's so protective of Maynard is 'cause Julie is dead.

 

After we move forward 5 years, lots of characters will be recast, and some characters will leave the show.

Whew, what an episode!  The plot thickens!  My eyes were glued to the screen all hour long, especially when it came to the Susan/Mike/Orson/Bree thing.  Orson's secret is officially out!  It's weird...I didn't think Orson was gonna come clean so easily.  When Orson ran over Mike in the season 2 finale, my first thought was "I wonder how the Wisterians are gonna react if the truth comes out!"  We've waited almost 2 years for this to come out, and the reactions were awesome!  One of the best things about a soap is how the characters react when these big secrets come out.  I admire Susan and Mike for willing to forgive Orson.  One of the hardest things to do is forgiving someone for something they did that was so reprehensible, like what Orson did.  Bree, however, won't forgive him.  Instead, she throws him out and I assume she's planning to divorce him.  I think what Orson did was terrible, but I do hope he and Bree find their way back to each other.  They're great together!

 

Tom and Lynette's s/l was extremely juicy.  I liked the opening when Mary Alice explained to us how Lynette knew Tom was lying.  Everyone has tells, LOL!  I just knew Tom didn't start the fire, 'cause he was too obvious.  Rick's a total ass, huh?  He just came right back and gave a second shot at destroying Tom and Lynette's marriage.  Lynette made it very clear last season that she wasn't interested in having a fling with Rick, and yet, here he is!  Tom and Rick were both such idiots, fighting like that.  It didn't take them anywhere...except for the police station.  I loved the scene between Tom and Lynette in the car...very powerful and very passionate.  This couple has been through a lot these past couple years, but I find it very admirable that they're still together and still completely in love.  I think Lynette is very tempted to have an affair with Rick, but she's trying to deny it.  So....it turns out the kids are responsible?  What will Tom and Lynette do about this???

 

Gabrielle was so funny last night!  Bitchy but funny.  There was more proof in this episode that she's just not cut out to have a blind husband.  I thought Roxy the dog was so cute!  I loved the opening scene where Gabrielle met Roxy.

 

Steve: Roxy's trained to help Carlos get from Point A to Point B as safely as possible.

Gabrielle: I get that, but surely Roxy's trained to do other things, like turn off the radio or fetch car keys.

Carlos: Yeah, and maybe she could go solve crimes with Shaggy and the gang!

Gabrielle: Oh, don't give me any of your blind sarcasm!  For your information, I once saw a border collie on TV that could push a lawnmower!  Do you have one of those?

 

Gabrielle cracks me up!  Even when she's being a total bitch she is hilarious!  The only time I agreed with her on this episode was with the whole Roxy on the bed issue.

 

Gabrielle (in a nice, soft voice): You listen to me, you blind son of a bitch.  If you don't get this mangy, Kujo-wannabe off the bed, you won't just need a dog to get around, you'll need a motorized vehicle that you steer with your tongue.

 

I could've killed Gabrielle when she gave Roxy back.  I felt so sorry for poor Roxy when she was whining, not wanting Gabrielle to go   But she was able to go back to Wisteria Lane.  I LOVED the part when Roxy was looking through the window and Gabrielle was lying to Carlos that Roxy wasn't there and he was just hearing the Scavos' dog barking.  There she goes again, taking advantage of his blindness   I also loved the scene between Gabrielle and Edie.  I thought it was very nice of Edie to buy the dog treats for Carlos, despite what they've been through in the past.  I loved how Edie put Gabrielle in her place...Gabrielle can't just treat Carlos like she always had as if he never lost his sight.  Carlos is disabled now, and he can't do everything by himself anymore.  I definitely think Edie opened up Gabrielle's eyes and now she realizes how selfish she's been.

 

The Katherine mystery deepened last night.  Wayne Davis has tracked them down, and now he has started up a relationship with Dylan.  I think Wayne may be using Dylan for something, like maybe he's using her to get back to Katherine.  When they were at the diner, Wayne totally manipulated Dylan into agreeing to see him again...did you see the look on his face when Dylan agreed to start up a relationship?  Wayne is one interesting character, and he definitely has an agenda of some sort!

 

Spoilers...

 

Next week, "Opening Doors"...

 

Edie starts coming onto Orson, which pisses Bree off.  While drunk, Edie tries to seduce Orson, but he refuses to sleep with her.  Bree finds out, only she thinks they really did have sex.

 

Episode fifteen, "Mother Said", May 11th...

 

Lynette takes Kayla to see a psychiatrist.  The psychiatrist wants the whole Scavo family to come in for a session.

 

Episode sixteen, "The Gun Song" (part 1) and "Free" (part 2), May 18th...

 

In this two-hour season finale, everyone on Wisteria Lane faces a deadly threat.

 

Susan gives birth to a baby boy and decides to let Mike choose the name.  He chooses the name Maynard, which Susan hates.  Susan tries to change the baby's name to Connor (lovely name ) but it turns out Mike has already signed the birth certificate.  Susan finds out she's about to lose someone she loves.

 

Lynette's arrested, as she's accused of beating Kayla.  She denies the charges but police have proof she abused Kayla.  Kayla goes off to live with Nora's mother.

 

Reverend Michael Green moves back to Fairview after 4 years of being away.  He's newly separated and starts a relationship with Bree.  Reverend Green leads a prayer...his prayer involves Bree's wacky ways.  Reverend Green and a jealous Orson have a huge fight.

 

Wayne and Adam get into a huge fight.  An injured Adam runs away.  A cab driver stops and asks Adam what happened to him.  Adam says "Wayne Davis" and carjacks the taxi.  The police come to Katherine's house and find Katherine unconcious on the floor.  While unconcious, Katherine dreams about her past, and all her secrets will be revealed through these dreams.  I don't know everything, but I do know part of her dream is her taking Dylan, 5 years old at this time, to the police station to tell the police Wayne's been abusing her.  The woman Katherine tells this to warns Katherine that Wayne is a cop and has many friends who are cops, and these charges against Wayne could be dropped because his friends are cops.  The woman advises Katherine to take little Dylan and flee town, which is exactly what they did.

 

Lots of intense things happen in the season finale, but there will be one funny s/l.  The gay couple, Lee and Bob, get married, and apparently their wedding scene is really funny!  Andrew attends, and he tells two cops to move their car 'cause they're in the way of the wedding.  Ellie, the artist who moves in with Carlos and Gabrielle next week, attends the wedding as well.

 

At the end of the season finale, after 5 years pass, a woman is having a hard time sending her 5-year-old son off to Kindergarten.  She's staring through the Kindergarten window and refusing to leave school grounds.  She sees all kinds of choking hazards, such as a little plastic shovel in the sandbox, and freaks out.  This woman is someone we know already (I'm guessing Susan) and her husband is someone who we haven't met...it's a guy named Ken, played by Gale Harold.  Ken first appears in the season finale as a normal, nice guy, but he has a dark secret.  The season 5 mystery will revolve around him.

 

Dana Delany, the actress who plays Katherine, is under contract to be on all through season 5.  YEAH!!!!!!  I love Katherine!

 

Kayla dies.

DH's second post-strike episode aired last night.  It was so funny and I loved it   Along with the tons of comedy in this episode, there was some drama.  It was with Orson and Mike...we finally found out why Orson ran over Mike...after Gloria killed Monique and Mike almost caught her and Orson covering up the crime, Mike paid Orson a visit at his office and thought he looked farmiliar.  Gloria told Orson that Mike might remember too much, so she pressured him to finish him off.  My heart was racing at the beginning when Mike appeared to be confronting Orson about the hit-and-run but was really apologizing for pressuring him to write the prescription for him.  Orson was unaware of the guilt he was feeling and took up sleepwalking...naked!   I just LOVED the scene when Susan discovered him naked in her kitchen...I thought it was pretty dense of her to not realize he was sleepwalking the first time.  The second time in her front yard she slapped him awake, he woke up, and...surprise!  LOL!!!!!!  But the most dramatic scene which sent chills running up my spine was when Julie caught him sleepwalking, and he said, "I'm sorry I ran you over, Mike."  I have a feeling that Julie will have some stuff to say to Orson and then he'll have some 'splanin to do!

 

Rick is back!  Crap!  But I do think his return is gonna add some spice to Tom and Lynette's marriage.  We kinda picked up right where we left off when we last saw Rick last season...the whole s/l was kinda paused for a while because of Lynette's cancer, but now that that's all over, this s/l has come back and it hit Tom and Lynette right in the face!  I wonder what Rick's true reasoning for opening up a restaurant right across the street from Tom and Lynette's pizzeria is...is this a sneaky way to get closer to Lynette, is he planning to punish them by taking away their customers, or both???  I dunno, but I'm excited to see this play out on my screen!  I wonder who burned down Rick's restaurant?  I think Tom is too obvious...I'm thinking it's one of Lynette's kids.  Kayla, perhaps?  If you remember from a year ago, she knows about this whole Rick thing.

 

Katherine and Bree...LOL!!!!!!  Those two are hilarious together.  It all started with the funny scene in Tom and Lynette's pizzeria when the ladies were having lunch.

 

Katherine: Bree, I did my fair share of organizing events back in Chicago.  Small potatoes compared to this, I'm sure, but if you want any help, I'd be happy to.

Bree: Well, how nice of you.  I would love it!

(all the other women look uncomfortable)

Edie: No one?  OK, I'm going in...you two would kill each other, literally.

Gabrielle: Yeah, it would start with you two pulling each other's hair and then detectives questioning us about a murder.  Remember the pie thing?

Lynette: Tibetan monks remember the pie thing.

Bree: Well, I realize Katherine and I have had our differences, but we've all been through a lot lately, and Katherine and I decided to put all our differences aside and be friends.

Lynette: I faced cancer and a tornado, but I'm running from this!

 

I loved when Bree found out about the bad dip, she was about to tell Katherine, but Katherine said, "No food leaves the kitchen without me tasting it first!"  So Bree just let her taste it and get sick!  I loved it when Katherine was onstage and Bree's sitting there, sulking.

 

Bree: Ever since I started working with that obnxious backstabber, she's done nothing but take the spotlight off of me and onto her!

Katherine: And the winner of this year's Founders Ball award is a very special lady.  She is a very special friend of mine, and it is my honor and privelege to present this year's award to Bree Hodge!

Lynette: Hey, the obnoxious backstabber's calling you up.

 

I just love Katherine and Bree together...the battle of the ice queens!  Katherine tells Bree that they should be friends since they are pretty much one of the same, but Bree thinks otherwise.  I'm sure these two perfectionists will have more feuds, and I'm definitely looking forward to future scenes between them

 

Katherine: Isn't learning fun?

 

I loved the s/l concerning Gabrielle too.  Poor Carlos...the last thing a blind guy needs is to be married to a woman who won't help him.

 

Gabrielle: Oh, eat the carrots.  After all, they're gonna for your...uh...just eat them!

 

I get a kick out of how blunt Gabrielle is!

 

Gabrielle: I have to walk around in heels all day, you get to sit in a chair and roll!

 

The fight between her and the handicapped men was a riot!  Politically incorrect but funny!  Gabrielle loves to use things to her advantage...Carlos's blindness is not an exception.  She was just using him so she could park in handicapped spots!  I felt so bad for Carlos, and I also feel bad for Gabrielle.  This blindness affects her too.  Every morning she has to make sure the toothpaste is on the left side of the sink, and if it isn't, he won't be able to find it, and if she were out of the house and she realized that she still had to put the toothpaste on the left side of the sink, she had to rush home to do so.  That scene showed that she's only human trying to deal with a drastic change in her life.

 

Spoilers...

 

Next week, "Hello Little Girl"...

 

Tom and Rick have a fistfight.  Lynette tries to intervene, but she ends up getting injured.

 

Carlos gets a seeing-eye dog from a man named Steve (played by Archie Kao).  Carlos wants the dog to sleep in their bed, but Gabrielle is strongly against this idea.

 

Episode fifteen, "Mother Said", May 11th...

 

Edie tries to seduce Orson, but he says he loves Bree too much to cheat on her.  Bree finds out about this, but she thinks Orson and Edie actually had sex.  Bree and Edie have a big fight.  Susan, Lynette, Bree, and Gabrielle all have an intervention and tell Edie the errors of her ways, but she doesn't regret anything.  Everyone on Wisteria Lane stops talking to her for this, and ultimately Edie moves away.  She is leaving Wisteria Lane, but she is not leaving the show.

 

Season 5 spoilers...

 

So at the end of this season's finale, the show will move on 5 years in the future and continue on from there for the rest of the show.  Here are some spoilers as to what happens in season 5 after the 5 years pass...

 

Mrs. McCluskey is older and hard of hearing.

 

One of Lynette's kids will have died.  I don't know which one it will be, but rumor has it that it will be Kayla killed by a drunk driver.